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img_20150327_101935This year has been hard on teenage Yheela.
So many of my musical heroes have died, along with some movie heroes too.

Is this what getting old feels like? 

I woke up this morning to the news that George Michael died yesterday.
It was only a few days ago I played his music deafeningly loud in my car.
I’ve cried this morning and I think I might cry again when hearing my favourite songs by him.
It’s almost like with Prince, I still can’t listen to all of his songs without breaking down a little.

Someone told me a couple of weeks ago that the music you listen to between ages 10 and 20 is the music you’ll listen to for the rest of your life. And I’d say it’s true. I have found a few new artists, but they do remind me of my old favourites.

On the other hand, 2016 has been very good to me too. I got a new job (although I did love my old one very much too) in my home parish and looking back I can say this autumn has been a good one.
I’ve made new friends and I’ve learnt new things. As it should be I guess. Now I have a week and a couple of days off before it all starts again.
New year, new opportunities.

Our Christmas was a quiet affair, as per usual. The horde were all happy about their gifts, the twins especially since they got phones. I’ve not seen much of them, they now spend much of their time in their rooms playing games and sending me funny texts.
We did take a walk yesterday though, my son wanted to catch a few Pokémons…

Today I’m taking them all to see ‘Sing’, I managed to book us seats at the local cinema. And if I’m quick I’ll be able to book us seats for one of the other kid’s films they’re showing during the Christmas holiday.

I’d like to go down to Gothenburg some day next week, to check out the sales and just get a change of scenery. Hubs is working though, so I don’t know if it’ll happen. I need to find a party dress for a wedding in January.
It says “dark suit”  on the invite and that means a posh dress (not too short and not floor length) and I do not have one of those. A posh dress that is, mine are all summer dresses and not posh at all.

chichiI checked a few online stores and think I found a brand I like, but looking in a store would be fun too (right now I’m liking these two, but I don’t know if they’re right).

And I’ll get to buy new shoes and jewelry and makeup and hair things and ALL THE GLITTERY STUFFS!

Also, I need to get this hair of mine sorted. Should I keep colouring it? Do I let it grow? Cut it shorter? Argh!

Maybe I ought to be happy my problems are my hair and that artists I like pass away… it’s hard to know your blessings when life meanders on as it should.

Anyway, I need to do stuffs. There’s Lego all over the kitchen from building the sets the horde got for Christmas and there’s laundry that needs folding etc etc…

I wish you all the best, these last days of 2016. ❤

xoxo

IMG_1093Midsummer in Sweden is usually a cold and rainy affair (June is our monsoon month after all, though people tend to forget that) but last Friday was unseasonably warm and sunny.

Not that I’m complaining mind, it’s just so very unusual and I for one was taken by surprise. Off came the jeans I had donned in the morning and on came the summer dress I haven’t worn in years (only because I haven’t bothered with mending the torn straps until earlier this year).

We had a lovely Midsummer, wen’t to the celebrations over in Vättlösa and met old friends and simply had a good time.

In the evening my parents came by, bringing Aquavit and strawberries. I ate my weight in new potatoes and pickled herring I think (NO REGRETS!).

IMG_1160Yesterday we went to Liseberg, along with friends and their kids. We had the best time and ended up staying over 10 hours at the amusement park! We had burgers and fries for lunch, ate so much sweets and ice cream and slush.
The twins went on so many rides, and so did Pumpkin, though she felt it was a little unfair that she wasn’t allowed on the really extreme ones…
“When I’m their age I’ll go on all those rides!”
“Yes my darling, you will.”

I got 6 books from the library last week and have read 5 of them already, the last one will be read tomorrow I think. It’s a Sarah Dessen favourite: What Happened to Goodbye.
I do wish they’d get all the Sarah Dessen books, along with all three Stephanie Perkins books I love and several other great great great YA writers I love.
I’ll have to talk with my librarian friend and see if I can convince her to get them all.

Another thing I’m trying to do this summer (at least during these six weeks of holiday I have) is to take better care of myself, find a way back to me and like what I see when I look in the mirror. As it is now I’m not very happy with myself.
The biggest issue I have is my skin: my moles and scars. I cannot NOT see it whenever I look in the mirror.
Right now I feel as if nothing I do makes me forget the fact that my skin makes me a freak and when I previously shook off comments I now just want to cry whenever someone says something about me. It’s really mostly young kids who wonder why I have so many “spots” and I tend to tell them that’s just the way it is, I can’t help it anymore than they can help the colour of their eyes.

IMG_1183Maybe I need to go see someone about this, find ways to beat the negative thoughts crowding my mind and making me feel less about myself.
As it is now I’ve even gone so far as to edit/remove moles in selfies before I post them anywhere. I don’t think anyone else has noticed, but I’ve felt better about the pictures, now without the freakish spots all over…

Anyhow, I’m going to finish reading this novel by Morgan Matson, Second Chance Summer and cry my eyes out doing so (I’ve read it before and I know how it ends and I know I’ll cry and I’ll read it anyway, because I can!).

xoxo

Hospital today. Time to remove those iffy looking moles (and keep fingers crossed they don’t show any signs of melanoma). 
I’m listening to music that makes me happy to prep for this. Goo Goo Dolls ftw! 

The worst thing is the local anesthetic, it burns like a mudderphukker… and then I hope doc is quick because it sucks when I can feel them sow me shut. The needle going into the skin and the thread being pulled through. *shivers.* 

It’ll be fun (she tells herself, her laugh hollow). 

I guess I’ll have to look at the bright side: I’m getting lunch with hubs afterwards. We can gaze romantically at each other across the table at the burger joint before we tear into our greasy burgers and fries. True love! 

Anyway, I might start a writing project with a buddy from the webz. Flash fiction and/or short stories. So that’s good. Also, my Saturday Scenes short story is looking like it’s getting close to its ending. So woop woop for that! 

xoxo 

IMG_0272We’ve had crazy hot weather the last couple of days, the kind where you’re keeping your fingers crossed for thunder to come release you from the humidity.
And tonight it finally happened. Thunderstorm with accompanying rain. There’s a virtual waterfall from our gutter out front. Maybe I ought to go stand out in the rain? It’s nice to let yourself get soak by rain, if you know you’ll soon be dry and warm indoors.

I’ve written quite a lot these last few days, I have two short stories going and one of them is my current Saturday Scenes. Better finish it before I run out of Saturdays… the other one is my Harry Potter fanfic, that one I’m publishing on Archive of Our Own (go clickety if you wanna read, I’ve only posted three short chapters so far). With both of these I’m in the same pickle as always, I start writing without a ready plot and have no idea how they’re going to end…
I wonder if I’ll ever learn to do a outline for my stories, so that I’ll not end up in “what-the-fuck-happens-next land”? Probably not, I rarely learn from my mistakes. *big grin*

This week has been all about cleaning at work. We have to wash all the toys and clean out all the cupboards in all the houses we have groups in. That’s A LOT of toys… but I’m doing it with my buddies so at least there’s company and lots of laughs.
I’m going to miss them so much when I start my new job… love them to bits.

Right now I’m binge listening to Goo Goo Dolls. Seriously, they’ve not one bad song. Too bad they’re not touring Sweden… the closest they get is the UK. I wish I had time/money to go see them in London in October, but that’ll never happen.
Oh well, good thing I have Spotify then.

Anyhow, I got a date for surgery (June 9th). Two moles that need removing, not because they have melanoma, but because my doc thought they looked iffy. Whatever that means. I wish it would all just stop. I don’t need anymore scars, I’ll be at 15 when these have been removed. Yay!
Tonight I’m going to paint my nails and read, or write if my nail polish dries fast enough…

xoxo

giphy (1)

I’ve been blown away by the response I got to my previous blog post (the one where I went on about not having anyone to hang out with). I can’t remember when I had so many people respond to and share my blog, if ever. There have been a bunch of private messages, twitter responses and even a handwritten letter (thank you darling, I’m writing back asap).

Apparently there are quite a few people out there who appreciate me and what I do, they just don’t say it very often (which has Pnub being correct in stating that the introverts I have forced my friendship upon befriended like me but hardly ever say it).

So, I feel better about myself. And I love you all very much. My tribe. ❤

My recent hangup is writing a Valentine’s Day piece for Saturday Scenes. I have a story and I’m jumping all over its timeline to get words down, usually I write most things chronically. But I guess this is a good thing, I’m a step or two out of my comfort zone and this has me working hard to finish it. It’s going to be a short thing, but maybe I’ll expand it, add scenes, if I like it well enough.

Also I’ve read a lot of books on Kindle (this weekend I think I managed to get through 6 or 7). It irks me that most e-books I find are part of a series. I do not have the time or the inclination to devote time on a book series with 667 573 476 books in it.

Trilogy, maybe, but with my luck book 3 isn’t published yet and waiting several months for the ending is not for me. At least not at the moment (patience can bite me).

Idoitnowf you have an e-book you think I ought to give a try, please tell me so. I mostly read romance and YA on Kindle. Sci-fi is also a deep well of pleasure when it comes to reading.

Anyhow, I’m going to write some on this Valentine’s story before heading to bed.

xoxo

giphy-9This morning I was so very very very tired (not an unusual occurrence in the mornings for me) and I seriously debated not leaving my bed all day, but then Pirate came and asked if he could watch cartoons and I had to drag my sorry self out of bed and rustle up breakfast for the horde. Husband beat me to it though and all I had to do was sit down and drink my tea (bless him).

There’s not been much in the way of work for me this week, which is awesome in a “I’m a lazy bitch” kind of way. The not so awesome part is Pumpkin having a fever and having to stay home from preschool, she’s much better today though. Tomorrow we’re celebrating her 4th birthday and we bought sweets to decorate her cake with when we went shopping earlier today (her actual birthday is November 30th).

Last year she had a Spider-Man/Harry Potter themed party, this year it’s Frozen all the way… but whatever makes her happy. It is her birthday, I can have a Harry Potter one when it’s my birthday (in April). Oh wouldn’t it be so cool! I could dress the kids up and have husband be Dumbledore, or Snape, or Neville! And I’d be Luna, because she’s my spirit animal.

I’m still stuck on The 1975, I’ve added so many of their songs to my writing playlist, which is what I play when driving (I also sing along to every song on that list, it’s the best thing, just belting out great songs in the car). Whenever I come across great music I add to this list, it’s past 4h in playtime atm. Before The 1975 I added Roxette, another favourite of mine, love their ballads.

I’m not going to make NaNoWriMo this year, unless I write 25.000 words before Monday… Hahaha! I know! What was I thinking? If I barely have time for writing as it is, how would I manage 50.000 words during November?!

Good thing though is that I am writing. Yesterday before youth group I managed a fair share of words, and I’m taking time today to write more. My brain is tuned into writing too, which means I get ideas all the time and feel joy when I do get to write.

Most of Wednesday however was spent playing Dragon Age Inquisition. That game. So good! This time around I’m a Qunari mage, female, and romancing The Iron Bull. But every time I come across Commander Cullen my heart skips a beat and I want to crawl into the game and jump him. He’s been bae since Dragin Age Origins.

tumblr_ni6wn9k2th1qljgf8o2_500

I might have to start over again and play a human or elf, I cannot resist him!

Anyhow, we’re approaching lunchtime and I need to wrestle up some food for Pumpkin, husband and I. And then write. And maybe, maybe, I’ll allow myself a little Cullen Dragon Age…

xoxo

2013-09-16 - 1This autumn has been the worst few months in quite some time.

I’m always down this time of year, it’s getting darker and colder and summer’s over and work begins again and… some of you might get what I’m saying.

I’ve stared projects (writing) during this time and everything’s sucked and most things aren’t even close to being done. I haven’t even kept up with this blog (duh!).

I also decided to enter NaNoWriMo this year for some freaking reason and even though I’m at 26.000 words (3 different stories, didn’t have an idea for a novel, so I’m cheating with short stories) I just feel like dropping the whole thing and crawl into my bed. Never to climb out again.

Buuut… family and work and this thing called “life” (don’t talk to me about it) has me getting up in the mornings. I do what I have to and the whole time I just want people to shut the fudge up and leave me alone.

Thank God for internet friends. They never get in your face, they mostly just get you and if you can’t deal you just chose to not interact with them. Not so easy irl, as people tend to get in your face all the time.

Don’t get me wrong, at the same time I love people. Like truly love them. But I haven’t got enough energy to keep my face smiling all the time, or listen to them, or work with them. So I flee to books and video games. These last 3 days I’ve read 6 books on Kindle and started a new character for Dragon Age Inquisition (honestly, that game is life).

After I type this I’m going to see if I can write a little on one of the short stories I have going on, I’m using this particular one for Saturday Scenes at the moment and need to get writing (I didn’t post anything this Saturday, I just… didn’t).

I had this list of things I wanted to get done this autumn, so far I’ve done none of those things and that isn’t really helping my situation. shitpissbuggerfuckall 

Also, this “Cheer up mate, it’s soon Christmas!” has me wanting to punch people in the face. Like really, that’s supposed to help me in any way? Fuck off.

Anyhow, I need to write something (anything) on my short story today, preferably before having to take Princess to the stables. And for those of you who care, The 1975 are my new musical obsession. Makes me wish I was 10 years younger, so I could lust after that cute drummer without feeling like a total cougar…

xoxo

IMG_20150516_223711

I made new friends.

I’m rather proud of myself this evening. I finished another short story!

It has a proper ending and I can post the final scene next Saturday. Yay! There were moments when I thought I had to just leave it hanging, post the last bit without closure and hope no one would notice or mind… It really is my biggest issue, this tying everything together and saying it’s done.

My short story “Q is for?is now finished, I can post the ending next week and then focus on finding a new scene for the week after. *happy dancing in the kitchen.*

And after all the scenes have been posted for Saturday Scenes I’ll post it in its entirety on my writer’s blog Viking Girl Scribbles for everyone to read (you can go and read the previous stories and poems I’ve already posted – NAOW!)

In other news it’s little over a week until my skin cancer check-up at the hospital, the closer I get the more anxious I become. I try not to think about it, but it’s hard when I have to put tape on my face every day…

Let’s just hope and pray that they won’t find anything worth cutting this time (or if they do, hope they find two things because having 13 surgical scars on my body feels like a bad omen. LOL).

Anyway, today has been a day full of doing nothing, tomorrow we’re having a b-day party for the twins at the bowling alley. 20 something kids and heavy things… you just KNOW that’ll be great!

xoxo

IMG_20140722_103520I’m simultaneously writing three different short stories (or I have three tabs in Google Drive open at the same time and keep going back and forth reading parts of them, occasionally adding words). This works just fine, because for some reason they all complement each other: I’ll be writing something on one of them and suddenly an idea for one of the others pops up and I go write a little on that.

But.

This also means I’m researching for three different stories.

In #1 I need to look at pictures of Sweden in the summer, listen to 90’s music and remember what it was like working in the kitchens (You guuuyyyys! Summer! I want summer now!), #2 requires researching London (THERE’S SO MUCH TO FIND AND GET LOST IN) and for #3 I need to find the perfect film for my main character to suggest to the boy she likes (NETFLIX NETFLIX NETFLIX). Also I keep searching for pictures of people and things, to find attributes etc that I can use for my characters (ballet shoes, blonde hair, hats and coats, airplanes, meadows, cute guys, blue skies, teacups – random shizzle ya know).

Blackbird_2Last night I heard blackbirds for the first time this year. I absolutely LOVE blackbirds! As soon as they start singing you just KNOW it’s spring and the best part of it is that they keep on singing long into summer. Is there anything better than talking a walk in the woods, listening to blackbirds and smelling the greenery all around you? No, there isn’t.

Anyway, we’re at home today, no school and Pumpkin has a nasty cold (ear pain, pink eye, fever) so we never went swimming as we said we would. That’s one of the stinky things about early spring: all the colds and things and stuff that happens. I’m feeling slightly meh myself, stuffy nose and a sore throat.

I Really Don’t Want To Be Sick Right Now! 

We’re having ice cream as the afternoon snack (because sicknesses), although I’m having Strawberry Daiquiri sherbet (because vegan). Better get back to writing my stories then…

xoxo

ballethaikuThis month has been good so far. Snow and lots of it (as it should be)! It’s actually snowing as I blog…

The year began with me not finding it in me to write, at all. I had no ideas buzzing in my brain and I felt quite useless.

But then I had this dream: I was home alone and it wasn’t a good thing. Suddenly I had to travel, and I did. Then I woke up, the dream fading but an idea had formed, it was just a matter of letting it stew a little before giving it a go. As it is now I have over 600 words written and writing is fun again, I’ve also written a few poems and haiku and posted them on the webz.

I really wish I had more time for writing. Right now most of my energy and time is consumed by work, and family (but that’s what families do). Next week is a school holiday and I’m really going to try to make time to write.

And of course I have to play more Dragon Age Inquisition… my Elven mage is really kicking bad guy butt! Though I’m slightly disappointed in Solas, romancing him has so far been BORING!

Cullen was far more fun as you get to interact with him, as a love interest, on a whole other level… and I feel bad for NOT romancing him this time around. Stupid, I know! But he’s so goddamn CUTE!

Anyhow, I need to go go do work stuffs (dishes, copies, snack etc).

xoxo

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