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So, I’ve decided to write this year. Write, as in: “Don’t you dare do nothing else with your time Yheela!”

And so far, I’ve not done too shabby.

I have a Swedish YA novel which is ~51.000 words, and it so badly needs a rewrite and edits and I feel like I should give this novel a go.

Like, I put so much time and effort into it that I’d be letting myself down if I didn’t!

I’d be lying if I tell you that I’ve written on my novel every day since I decided to do this. But I be been ~writing~ every day. Actually putting words down and making stories.

Only yesterday I finished a superhero short story (and posted it on my writer’s blog, I’ll try to make this a clickety link thing). It’s a huge thing, since I have that damnable issue with finishing my stories.

Like yes, planning my stories might help me with the times when I just sit there staring at the screen. But dear god help me, it’s boring af! And if I plan a story out I often never get to the writing part anyway.

I’m the suckiest writer.

Well, I suck at making plans and sticking with them and finishing stuff and things, you know. I like my stories though, even the ones that never amount into anything.

So anyway. My plan is to rewrite the story and have it ready to send to an editor by early summer (the latest). Then I hope to have a few months to do edits and (fingers crossed) I’ll send the manuscript to publishers before the new year.

Doesn’t sound all dumb, does it? I don’t know actually. But it’s my plan and I’m sticking with it!

Yeah!

Anyhow, dinner time (writing time) and all that jazz.

I love you, like for reals.

xoxo

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Christmas has passed. We’re in these in between days that just are, that must be, before we step into the new year.

The picture is from two weeks ago. Winter wonderland. Today it’s all rain and gloom and darkness. We’ve passed the longest night by a week, but it’ll take time before we’ll notice any change.

I’m off work until school starts again, January 9th. Which is so nice. But on the other hand it’s a bit ugh to be at home with three kids that sulk about not finding friends to play with.

I get it, sitting at home isn’t very fun, at least not when you’re forced to hang out with your siblings 24/7. And a lot of families have gone away on holiday or visiting family over Christmas and New Year.

Sometimes I think we’re the only ones who have stayed at home.

I’ve slacked off on my workout routine and I’m paying for it by being in pain and feeling meh. So I went to the gym today and practically cried my way through it. I wish I could think of a way to make that whole experience fun… like reading books is fun, or having tea is fun, or watching films is fun.

Ugh.

Guess my New Years resolution will be to not be such a lazy fat ass. Which means I need to be the total opposite of what I am.

Also. I have a couple of weeks until my next skin checkup, so all the angst associated with that is bubbling up to the surface.

Fun times!

I hate feeling like this, but I honestly don’t know how to deal with it; apart from allowing myself to feel like absolute shit until the checkup’s done. The feelings won’t go away, so maybe just embrace them?

I haven’t taken many pictures of anything lately (not even selfies, which is like super weird). And I know it’s because I feel all these horrible, crying over everything, ugly feelings.

Anyhow, we’re going to town after lunch. So maybe I’ll make an effort, or something…

xoxo

…hi.

So you know. Life. Or I’m not going to blame it all on life. I’m just not very good at this blogging thing, I guess.

Autumn has been good and it’s been exceptionally rough. I think that this year’s seasonal depression thing has been worse than ever.

At the same time I’m all happy and cheerful at work, because work and feeling I have to put up a “brave front”.

Having been sloppy with my workout routine hasn’t helped either.

So I’ve been experiencing pain in my shoulder and that gives me a headache because I grind my teeth.

Fingers crossed I’ll keep it up from now on.

I’m back to writing more. September and October were full months of writing, but then I hit a wall at the end of October. I kinda think I’ve found my way back though. At least I have ideas. That’s something.

Also, I’m back playing Mass Effect Andromeda. My 2nd pt and it’s been good. It does take a while to get into the game, like a good 20h or so. But now I have all the planets and my next big move is going after the Archon.

I do plan on completing as much as possible this time round though. So it’ll be a while before I do that quest.

Anyhow. Christmas is upon us, and life goes on, and another year is soon here… and I guess that’s about it.

xoxo

IMG_7283I feel as if I have no idea of what I’m doing with my life. Everything continues as normal (whatever that means) and I wake up and go through the motions and then go back to sleep.

And then I do it again and again and again. As all of us do, I suppose.

It’s not that I want things to radically change.

I’m not even sure there’s anything wrong with this. All I’m wondering is: is this it? Am I not going to do anything else? I’m not old, nor am I young. I’m somewhere in the middle and sometimes I question what I have to show for it?

Take away my family, what do I have (I’m very happy I have my family, hubs and the horde are my hearts.)?

I guess I wish I was better at finishing things. As it is now I’m fairly certain I’ll never publish anything, seeing I don’t finish anything.

Then you have the need to edit texts and I get cheap and don’t feel like sending my crappy stories to anyone, because what’s the point?! They’re not good enough to be published, why should I spend any money on them?

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Ugh.

I’m back at work (have been for over two weeks) and I’m counting the days until I can have some extended leave. Why can’t I just be happy, content, with doing what I do? I suck!

My next shot at an extended leave is in late October btw…

I bought some new clothes at the beginning of summer. Stupid me on the other hand didn’t bother trying them on at the store and now I’m stuck with a shirt that’s too small.
Nothing to do but give it away and hope someone else can wear it.

I’m trying this capsule wardrobe thing where you only have a few items of clothing to choose from, but they all kinda match and you switch some of them according to season. Seeing that I kinda only wear three pieces of clothing during summer everything’s gone alright so far.
It’ll be interesting to see how it goes now that I’ve started working.

At first I felt happy with how my wardrobe now looks. Now I hate my clothes (again) and I can’t find anything to wear (again).

On the other hand. I finished the main mission in Mass Effect Andromeda. I really like the game. It’s pretty and fun and the characters are likable.

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Me in the Nomad.

At first I didn’t know if I’d ever play it more than once, but now I’ve created my second Pathfinder already and am thinking about how to play it differently. So yay!

School started today. Now all the hordelings are at school and everything feels strange. I had taken today off and ended up spending it by myself. Previously Pumpkin had to stay home with me if I had the day off, pre-school rules.

I have a few Tuesdays coming up where I’m taking the day off and I think I need to decide on something to do on those days. Or should I just stay home and do nothing?

Anyhow, it’s time to get dinner going.

Take care, hug someone!

xoxo

Well, I’ve had a week and a half of my summer holiday now. And time flies by too fast, I really don’t want this to end at all. 
It’s not like we’ve had excellent weather (it’s sunny but chilly and it really need to rain because the lawn is more yellow than green). 

I just really like being at home. I like getting to chose if I’m seeing anyone today, or if I’m not leaving the house. 

Besides, most of my friends are online (as in living in another country and not really someone you’d pop by to in an afternoon), or they live a 4h drive away, at least. 

I’m trying to figure out where all my childhood friends have gone to. And I realise I didn’t have that many close friends to begin with, three maybe? And they live ways away or I’ve completely lost touch with them. 

I’ve tried to reach out to the one living close by, but she’s so busy with her life that it’s almost impossible for us to find time. I guess she isn’t as interested in rekindling our friendship as I am. 

Ugh. I’ll just give up and cultivate whatever friendships I’ve made online. 


Hubs got me Mass Effect Andromeda a couple weeks back. It’s a very pretty game and so far I’m curious to see what the main story is about. What I have realised though, is that I’m absolutely terrible at FPS games. And I mean ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE

I can’t hit anything even if I threw the gun at them. But fuck that, I’m playing the game anyway and so far the only thing making me rage quit is a Remnant Architect. Mudderhumping three legged piece of robot shit! 

And I’m playing on Easy, so really, I shouldn’t have too much trouble. Why do I even play? Ugh. 

After lunch we’re off on a play date with the girls bffs, and I’ve made friends with the mum so I’ll be sat there drinking tea. 

Anyways, it’s breakfast time here and the horde needs feeding (if I can tear them away from YouTube and tv and other stuff that is). 

Take care, wear sunscreen, drink loads (of tea). 

xoxo 

I’ve learned something. And though some might think that this is something everybody ought to know, it’s taken me time to actually realise it. 

Although this will probably not mean I’ll take it to heart all the time. (I’m sure there will be days when this lesson is forgotten and I’m back to my old ways.) Hopefully I’ll have more days when I remember than days when I forget. 

I’ll let Newt Scamander tell you what I’ve learned: 


This! 

This is what I’ve learnt. Also, this is what I’ve experienced in the last month or so… 

I’ve worried about stuff, lost sleep and happiness over it, and then they’ve turned out alright anyway. I suppose I’m lucky in that respect: that everything has turned out alright. 

Hubs told me last night that I overthink things. And he’s absolutely right. The thing is that I absolutely hate conflicts, I hate having someone being angry with me. It makes me so very unhappy and anxious. 

And me worrying about work things is me worrying about people at work being angry with me. Everyone fucks up from time to time, this I know, but I hate when I do (because of the maybe conflict that could happen). Ugh! 

I envy those who seem to go through life and not let things like that effect them. But I cannot escape the fact that angry (hateful) words and actions hit me very hard. It’s like I’m not equipped with any tools to shrug them off or ignore them completely. 

This does not mean I’m a pushover. No! I know what I want and where I want to go and who I want in my life. But I chose to ignore and block those irl and online that give off angry/hateful/negative vibes. 

I do not need that in my life.  


Anyhow, I’ve worked today (Sunday service and kid’s choir and stuffs) and now I’m going to not do too much at all. We’re going ice skating later, there’s an outdoor rink one town away. 

So tea and books and love until then. 

xoxo 

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We took a walk.
Pumpkin refused to nap and feeling she’d benefit from a little sleep I bundled her up and took her out. After 15 min she was fast sleep and I realised it was a glorious day.

The snow’s melted away and I think that’s a little too soon, give me one month and I’d be alright with it (snow in March is not fun). But the sun’s shining, the wind’s not too cold and the sky’s a lovely blue colour.

Life is good.

Next week we have winter/spring break, it’s a week off school (though I work Mon- Tue) and we’re planning on visiting my parents next weekend. Probably just eating and playing in the woods outside of their house, but it’s something different from our usual routine.

Anyhow, off to get the twins from a birthday party (in our “new” old/used car).

xoxo

This morning I listened to a story about an old woman who presented herself with the words: “I’m old, I live by myself, I have wonderful children and lovely grandchildren and at the end of the day I’m actually happy with myself.”

Think about this for a minute.

To be happy: with who you are, where you are, why you are…

There is only one You – and you are AWESOME! No, don’t argue with me, I’m right about this and you should never let yourself be less than the best You (which comes naturally, since no one else can do the job).

Go out into the world, be the awesome person that only you can be and remember to be happy about the little things (and the big things, and the medium sized things, and the teeny tiny things, and the humongous things).

xoxo minionperfection

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I was up at 6 am this morning because Pumpkin thought it was time to meet the day (she did try at 5, but I got her to fall asleep again). I truly do not like mornings, there’s nothing good about them (except for that first cuppa tea, that’s just heavenly)!

I’m sure I’ve told you about this dieting method I’m trying out: fast two days (500 calories) and eat “normally” the other five of the week. If I haven’t, now you know.
Anyway, I’ve been doing it for five weeks now and to begin with I wasn’t very impressed… I didn’t lose a single gram (or I jojoed one kg down and then right back up again). But now, now I’ve lost 2,5 kg and I think I’ll give it a try for a little while longer.
The hardest part was knowing how many calories I’ve eaten. I got an app for my phone and Hey Presto! it became much easier. Best thing is I count calories every day and thus prevent myself from stuffing my face (something I’m very good at, especially when bored).

Anyhow, fun things happen when interacting with people on the interweb. Tonight I’m going for a walk with a new friend I’ve met via Google+. We’ve only talked online, but she lives nearby and I think it’s time we met.
I love meeting new people, online or IRL, it’s what makes life interesting!

xoxo

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