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Christmas has passed. We’re in these in between days that just are, that must be, before we step into the new year.

The picture is from two weeks ago. Winter wonderland. Today it’s all rain and gloom and darkness. We’ve passed the longest night by a week, but it’ll take time before we’ll notice any change.

I’m off work until school starts again, January 9th. Which is so nice. But on the other hand it’s a bit ugh to be at home with three kids that sulk about not finding friends to play with.

I get it, sitting at home isn’t very fun, at least not when you’re forced to hang out with your siblings 24/7. And a lot of families have gone away on holiday or visiting family over Christmas and New Year.

Sometimes I think we’re the only ones who have stayed at home.

I’ve slacked off on my workout routine and I’m paying for it by being in pain and feeling meh. So I went to the gym today and practically cried my way through it. I wish I could think of a way to make that whole experience fun… like reading books is fun, or having tea is fun, or watching films is fun.

Ugh.

Guess my New Years resolution will be to not be such a lazy fat ass. Which means I need to be the total opposite of what I am.

Also. I have a couple of weeks until my next skin checkup, so all the angst associated with that is bubbling up to the surface.

Fun times!

I hate feeling like this, but I honestly don’t know how to deal with it; apart from allowing myself to feel like absolute shit until the checkup’s done. The feelings won’t go away, so maybe just embrace them?

I haven’t taken many pictures of anything lately (not even selfies, which is like super weird). And I know it’s because I feel all these horrible, crying over everything, ugly feelings.

Anyhow, we’re going to town after lunch. So maybe I’ll make an effort, or something…

xoxo

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We’ve had snow again, but that got washed away by the rain. And it’s supposed to get lighter by the day, but I can’t see it with all clouds and rain.

I feel slightly depressed with all this wetness and darkness and non-winterness going on… and I don’t know how to get myself out of this funk.

Maybe it’ll go away by itself.

Anyhow, I finished Dragon Age Inquisition the other day. Brilliant game! I’ve now started over, but with an Elven mage this time (my first was a human warrior). Love it!

xoxo

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I’m going to put prose to the side for a while and focus more on poetry. Because I just feel I really need to write poems.

Whenever I now try to write prose it ends up as prose poetry and not fit for the novel(s) I’m trying to write.
So I guess I need to get down and dirty with it and get it out of my system (not that it ever is, it only lessens its intensity and leaves me alone, enough for me to do prose).

Anyway, I need to finish Mass Effect 2 now. The galaxy needs me!

xoxo

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I’ve written 50 (?) words in 5 days. I think I’ll just let the Fail Fairies dance all over me this year.

At the moment (after a weekend of work and a shoulder that aches and the sads) I can’t find it in me to write. The story is there, in my head, but I don’t have the energy to make it happen right now.

How do people do this? I neither have a room of my own, or time of my own, or any of those other things (like discipline…) that I would need to succeed. I suck.

Anyhow, it’s darker than ever (like always in November) and the sads has me in its grasp. I’ll just go buy (and eat) my own weight in chocolate.

xoxo

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I’ve written 120 words today, yesterday I wrote 0.
I don’t know if this story is going to work…  but I want it to because I really like it. And I have a good chance of getting this book published. Which is nice.
I’m beginning to think I have to forgo sleep to manage NaNoWriMo this year.
I can sleep when I’m dead.

The darkness of November doesn’t really help in any way either. I just want to stay in bed, maybe read, most definitely play video games all day long…
A girl can dream right?

Anyhow, crapload of stuff to do at work and I’m working this weekend (we’re at camp Friday to Sunday).

xoxo

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