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Today was glorious! Sunshine and a light breeze and happiness and sweets and tasty foods and all the good things. 

I’m at camp with one of my youth groups, a two night layover ending with Sunday service tomorrow. 

My room is cold af tho, I think the radiator isn’t working at all… oh well, could be worse. We could have been staying in tents! 

Anyhow, I have a few hours off right now and I’m gonna spend them reading and trying to get warm. 

xoxo 

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I have the stupid sads and nothing is helping. It’s like I’ve crawled head first into a hole and now I’m stuck, no amount of bum wiggling will get me out to see the light of day. 

Ugh…

All I want is to stay in bed. 

But I wake up tired and get out of bed and get dressed and put makeup on and eat breakfast (okay okay, I have a cuppa tea) and take littlests hordling to school and go to work and go through the motions and then I can’t sleep at night and I wake up tired the next day. 

Hubs thought I ought to take vitamins, which won’t hurt so I do. But I’m thinking I might need to go talk to someone, exercise more, find the happy again. 

I don’t know. 

Anyhow, one of my stories is coming along nicely and I really wish I could focus on that and nothing else. I’ll dream on… 

xoxo 

So, October. 

Darkness and pretty leaves. So far it’s not too bad, the days have been sunny and even though yesterday was chilly and this morning had frost it’s still been nice. 

I wish for an autumn with colourful trees, where the leaves stay on for quite some time. But it’s been dry and if the frost becomes a thing leaves will start falling by the buckets. 

I’ve always had a hard time with the coming darkness. November is usually very dark and gloomy, with no colour but brown, grey, black and white. 

I know I shouldn’t be thinking about it now, but somehow I need to prepare myself for it. I need to stock up on sunshine and colours. 

Also, let’s hope this winter comes with a decent amount of snow. That would brighten everything up nicely. 

Anyhow, I’m trying to get back to writing more (as in every day) and so far it’s going alright. Fingers crossed I’ll be able to keep it up, it makes me happy. 

xoxo 

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I’ve been blown away by the response I got to my previous blog post (the one where I went on about not having anyone to hang out with). I can’t remember when I had so many people respond to and share my blog, if ever. There have been a bunch of private messages, twitter responses and even a handwritten letter (thank you darling, I’m writing back asap).

Apparently there are quite a few people out there who appreciate me and what I do, they just don’t say it very often (which has Pnub being correct in stating that the introverts I have forced my friendship upon befriended like me but hardly ever say it).

So, I feel better about myself. And I love you all very much. My tribe. ❤

My recent hangup is writing a Valentine’s Day piece for Saturday Scenes. I have a story and I’m jumping all over its timeline to get words down, usually I write most things chronically. But I guess this is a good thing, I’m a step or two out of my comfort zone and this has me working hard to finish it. It’s going to be a short thing, but maybe I’ll expand it, add scenes, if I like it well enough.

Also I’ve read a lot of books on Kindle (this weekend I think I managed to get through 6 or 7). It irks me that most e-books I find are part of a series. I do not have the time or the inclination to devote time on a book series with 667 573 476 books in it.

Trilogy, maybe, but with my luck book 3 isn’t published yet and waiting several months for the ending is not for me. At least not at the moment (patience can bite me).

Idoitnowf you have an e-book you think I ought to give a try, please tell me so. I mostly read romance and YA on Kindle. Sci-fi is also a deep well of pleasure when it comes to reading.

Anyhow, I’m going to write some on this Valentine’s story before heading to bed.

xoxo

2013-09-16 - 1This autumn has been the worst few months in quite some time.

I’m always down this time of year, it’s getting darker and colder and summer’s over and work begins again and… some of you might get what I’m saying.

I’ve stared projects (writing) during this time and everything’s sucked and most things aren’t even close to being done. I haven’t even kept up with this blog (duh!).

I also decided to enter NaNoWriMo this year for some freaking reason and even though I’m at 26.000 words (3 different stories, didn’t have an idea for a novel, so I’m cheating with short stories) I just feel like dropping the whole thing and crawl into my bed. Never to climb out again.

Buuut… family and work and this thing called “life” (don’t talk to me about it) has me getting up in the mornings. I do what I have to and the whole time I just want people to shut the fudge up and leave me alone.

Thank God for internet friends. They never get in your face, they mostly just get you and if you can’t deal you just chose to not interact with them. Not so easy irl, as people tend to get in your face all the time.

Don’t get me wrong, at the same time I love people. Like truly love them. But I haven’t got enough energy to keep my face smiling all the time, or listen to them, or work with them. So I flee to books and video games. These last 3 days I’ve read 6 books on Kindle and started a new character for Dragon Age Inquisition (honestly, that game is life).

After I type this I’m going to see if I can write a little on one of the short stories I have going on, I’m using this particular one for Saturday Scenes at the moment and need to get writing (I didn’t post anything this Saturday, I just… didn’t).

I had this list of things I wanted to get done this autumn, so far I’ve done none of those things and that isn’t really helping my situation. shitpissbuggerfuckall 

Also, this “Cheer up mate, it’s soon Christmas!” has me wanting to punch people in the face. Like really, that’s supposed to help me in any way? Fuck off.

Anyhow, I need to write something (anything) on my short story today, preferably before having to take Princess to the stables. And for those of you who care, The 1975 are my new musical obsession. Makes me wish I was 10 years younger, so I could lust after that cute drummer without feeling like a total cougar…

xoxo

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I just love when you can buy daffodils at the store. They simply scream spring (in that silent way flowers scream anything)!
I’ll keep buying new ones whenever the old ones wither, this will go on until they stop selling bunches of daffodils at the grocery store.

I’ve also bought new shoes. Shoes are the best thing ever!

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Pretty, aren’t they! My Converse were falling apart and I had thought about getting new ones, but these Dr Martin’s called to me. Buy us, buuuuy usssss! So I did. What’s a girl to do, right?

Last Saturday I posted the last part of my Swedish short story as my Saturday Scenes. I now need to get writing again… As it is now I’ve nothing to post on Saturday (there’s stuff, but I don’t know if I want to post it).

Anyway, I’m with a youth group at Laserdome tonight. It’s almost time for them to go in and shoot at each other again.

Pew pew pew pew (⬅”lasers)…

xoxo

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The last few days I’ve thought about how we see ourselves (because of several friends’ posts on various social media). And I’m wondering how much of ourselves we share with our online friends and bffs.
I suppose you can say that there’s no one who truly knows every aspect of another human, unless they’re with you 24/7 (and that would be really really weird, like an unattached siames twin).
Because it’s like Shrek tells Donkey, we’re all like onions with all these layers of who we are… and you’d have to have really strong constitution to peal all those layers without legging it with tears running down your face (or maybe that only applies when dealing with real onions?).

I have friends who have seen many of my different personas (my hubby knows me best of all, but then he’s close to being with me 24/7) and they wouldn’t be surprised by my randomness. There’s comfort in that, a sense of security I’m hoping others feel around me too.

But then there’s the fun part of getting to know new people! Gradually seeing new things about them and discovering new points of interest.
Unfortunately this might also mean that you discover things about them you have a hard time accepting (like them being total douchebags and complete headcases). That’s when you might have to take steps back, or just stop hanging out with them. Something I think very difficult… I don’t do potential conflicts very well.
Push me into a corner and I’ll fight back, but I’d rather slip away unnoticed and just stop interacting with them. Suppose we all have things we need to get better at.

Anyhow, I’m hoping next week will be one with less illness. Although I’ve yet to catch that cold that’s been doing the round in the family… such a fun thing to look forward to, don’t you think!

xoxo

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Last night as I went to bed I felt slightly dizzy. This feeling got worse when I actually lay down, the bed spinning and waves of nausea pounding my insides.
This morning seemed better, until I sat up and almost fell to the floor as the whole world started spinning… I hate when this happens. It is better now (at 3pm), but I still get dizzy spells when doing sudden movements or for no apparent reason at all.

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In an hour Princess has riding lessons, then home for a quick shower and at 6 we send the twins off to a birthday party. I took them last minute present shopping after school… I don’t like doing things last minute. *grumble.* But there hasn’t been time!

Anyhow, I need to finish my tea and go see if the kids are cleaning their rooms or not (I think not).

xoxo

ballethaikuThis month has been good so far. Snow and lots of it (as it should be)! It’s actually snowing as I blog…

The year began with me not finding it in me to write, at all. I had no ideas buzzing in my brain and I felt quite useless.

But then I had this dream: I was home alone and it wasn’t a good thing. Suddenly I had to travel, and I did. Then I woke up, the dream fading but an idea had formed, it was just a matter of letting it stew a little before giving it a go. As it is now I have over 600 words written and writing is fun again, I’ve also written a few poems and haiku and posted them on the webz.

I really wish I had more time for writing. Right now most of my energy and time is consumed by work, and family (but that’s what families do). Next week is a school holiday and I’m really going to try to make time to write.

And of course I have to play more Dragon Age Inquisition… my Elven mage is really kicking bad guy butt! Though I’m slightly disappointed in Solas, romancing him has so far been BORING!

Cullen was far more fun as you get to interact with him, as a love interest, on a whole other level… and I feel bad for NOT romancing him this time around. Stupid, I know! But he’s so goddamn CUTE!

Anyhow, I need to go go do work stuffs (dishes, copies, snack etc).

xoxo

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It’s cold. I’m watching Pirate tend the goal in the second hockey match he’s played today. Both girls were fine with watching the first game, they both want to go home now… and I totally agree. But I’m weighing the happiness of them against the sadness of his if we’re to leave before the match is over.
Gah, parenthood!

I’ve played Dragon Age Inquisition quite a few hours since Wednesday night and I LOVE IT SO MUCH! Now more than anything I want to leave this freezing place and go home to my Xbox.

In a few hours we’re meeting up with my husband’s family for “julbord”, which is a smorgasbord full of Christmas foods. I really need to get home and put my face on and brush my hair.

Anyhow, 3 more minutes left of the first period, better watch my son tend the goal.

xoxo