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I should have blogged about the end of my holiday a week and some days ago, but life’s been hectic and starting work again meant stress has mounted.

I don’t think I’ve ended a holiday on such a high before. It took days to land.

The Goo Goo Dolls did a European tour this summer, and played two shows in Sweden. Hubs and I went to the one in Gröna Lund, Stockholm.

And it was the best gig I’ve even been to. Ever.

Not that I’ve been to too many shows by bands I like (we’ve mostly seen bands hubs enjoys). Foo Fighters in June were really good and I’m so glad I saw them.

Goo Goo Dolls though. I almost don’t have words to tell you how good I found them.

They played all my favourite songs (but then I like all their music). When John played “Sympathy“, all by himself, I was all giddy with excitement. And Robbie did an awesome job on the songs he sung.

The greatest moment for me though was when John started strumming his guitar and talk about their first big hit. I thought I’d faint right then and there.

Name” is my song. Like, it’s been my go-to song for all the things for so many years and icanteven begin to explain to you how much that song means to me.

I started crying, bawling my eyes out and shaking. Hubs was patting my shoulder, a bit exasperated at my breakdown I think.

I missed recording the beginning of the song and hubs had to take over, as I was deliriously sobbing and had trouble holding my phone (I’m not sharing that video, because it’s not a good quality and as I said, the first bit of the song is missing).

I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like this again. And it’s perfectly okay if I never do. This was the best thing I’ve done (for myself) in years.

I bought myself a t-shirt and I both want to wear it all day-every day and just keep it safe and pretty forever.

My now plan is to get a line from “Name” tattooed on my arm. So I kinda need to research tattoo parlours nearby and get it done. I’ve had the idea rattling around in my brain for years, but seeing them live and having such a great time makes me really want to do it.

I really wish I could share some of these ecstatic feelings with you. I just have so much happiness inside of me!

Anyway, I should get back to this Last Day of Summer Holiday for the horde and make sure it’s a good end of summer for them too.

Take care, hug someone you love and listen to your favourite music.

xoxo

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We spent a week at the West Coast. So nice. All the sunshine anyone could ask for and the horde being as happy as can be.

I actually prefer swimming in the ocean. Even though my skin is all salty and dry after a day at the beach, nothing beats the sea.

I wish I could spend the rest of the summer there. At the edge of something and the beginning of everything.

I still have days, weeks, left of my summer holiday. Wish it would last forever.

Anyhow, tomorrow is birthday party day (Eldest bff) and that’ll be all kinds of alright.

xoxo

We spent a week at the West Coast. So nice. All the sunshine anyone could ask for and the horde being as happy as can be.

I actually prefer swimming in the ocean. Even though my skin is all salty and dry after a day at the beach, nothing beats the sea.

I wish I could spend the rest of the summer there. At the edge of something and the beginning of everything.

I still have days, weeks, left of my summer holiday. Wish it would last forever.

Anyhow, tomorrow is birthday party day (Eldest bff) and that’ll be all kinds of alright.

xoxo

Right. Spring term at work has been hectic, with a side of stressful and a great big dollop of sadness and self loathing. Though that last bit has sort of been a part of my everyday life too.

The book thing has gone to pot. Mostly because I’m rubbish at finishing projects and keep getting sidetracked and/or bored. I want to finish it, but I’ve been questioning myself (in all aspects of my life, not just writing) and that makes me not even want to try.

Ugh, I’m so fed up with myself right now… let’s talk about something else.

Best thing this year (and pretty much ever) was the Foo Fighters concert in Gothenburg last week. Like seriously.

Best gorram thing ever!

I love them even more now. And I’ve loved them pretty much a lot since 1997. It’s funny, and wonderful, that a band can mean so much for such a long time and be so influential in a lot of areas of my life.

In August (fingers crossed) hubs and I are going to Stockholm to see Goo Goo Dolls, they’re doing a 20 year anniversary tour of “Dizzy up the girl” (which was the album I discovered them with in 1998). They’re another band that meant so much in my teens.

Actually, a lot of bands I enjoyed in my teens are American rock bands. I guess that’s my jam…

Anyhow, I have three more days of work before summer holiday. Fingers crosses the hot summery weather returns, or I’d be fine with the wind dying down some.

Also. Dinner time soon, so I better get those pizzas made and into the oven.

xoxo

IMG_7283I feel as if I have no idea of what I’m doing with my life. Everything continues as normal (whatever that means) and I wake up and go through the motions and then go back to sleep.

And then I do it again and again and again. As all of us do, I suppose.

It’s not that I want things to radically change.

I’m not even sure there’s anything wrong with this. All I’m wondering is: is this it? Am I not going to do anything else? I’m not old, nor am I young. I’m somewhere in the middle and sometimes I question what I have to show for it?

Take away my family, what do I have (I’m very happy I have my family, hubs and the horde are my hearts.)?

I guess I wish I was better at finishing things. As it is now I’m fairly certain I’ll never publish anything, seeing I don’t finish anything.

Then you have the need to edit texts and I get cheap and don’t feel like sending my crappy stories to anyone, because what’s the point?! They’re not good enough to be published, why should I spend any money on them?

IMG_7391

Ugh.

I’m back at work (have been for over two weeks) and I’m counting the days until I can have some extended leave. Why can’t I just be happy, content, with doing what I do? I suck!

My next shot at an extended leave is in late October btw…

I bought some new clothes at the beginning of summer. Stupid me on the other hand didn’t bother trying them on at the store and now I’m stuck with a shirt that’s too small.
Nothing to do but give it away and hope someone else can wear it.

I’m trying this capsule wardrobe thing where you only have a few items of clothing to choose from, but they all kinda match and you switch some of them according to season. Seeing that I kinda only wear three pieces of clothing during summer everything’s gone alright so far.
It’ll be interesting to see how it goes now that I’ve started working.

At first I felt happy with how my wardrobe now looks. Now I hate my clothes (again) and I can’t find anything to wear (again).

On the other hand. I finished the main mission in Mass Effect Andromeda. I really like the game. It’s pretty and fun and the characters are likable.

IMG_7301

Me in the Nomad.

At first I didn’t know if I’d ever play it more than once, but now I’ve created my second Pathfinder already and am thinking about how to play it differently. So yay!

School started today. Now all the hordelings are at school and everything feels strange. I had taken today off and ended up spending it by myself. Previously Pumpkin had to stay home with me if I had the day off, pre-school rules.

I have a few Tuesdays coming up where I’m taking the day off and I think I need to decide on something to do on those days. Or should I just stay home and do nothing?

Anyhow, it’s time to get dinner going.

Take care, hug someone!

xoxo

Well, I’ve had a week and a half of my summer holiday now. And time flies by too fast, I really don’t want this to end at all. 
It’s not like we’ve had excellent weather (it’s sunny but chilly and it really need to rain because the lawn is more yellow than green). 

I just really like being at home. I like getting to chose if I’m seeing anyone today, or if I’m not leaving the house. 

Besides, most of my friends are online (as in living in another country and not really someone you’d pop by to in an afternoon), or they live a 4h drive away, at least. 

I’m trying to figure out where all my childhood friends have gone to. And I realise I didn’t have that many close friends to begin with, three maybe? And they live ways away or I’ve completely lost touch with them. 

I’ve tried to reach out to the one living close by, but she’s so busy with her life that it’s almost impossible for us to find time. I guess she isn’t as interested in rekindling our friendship as I am. 

Ugh. I’ll just give up and cultivate whatever friendships I’ve made online. 


Hubs got me Mass Effect Andromeda a couple weeks back. It’s a very pretty game and so far I’m curious to see what the main story is about. What I have realised though, is that I’m absolutely terrible at FPS games. And I mean ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE

I can’t hit anything even if I threw the gun at them. But fuck that, I’m playing the game anyway and so far the only thing making me rage quit is a Remnant Architect. Mudderhumping three legged piece of robot shit! 

And I’m playing on Easy, so really, I shouldn’t have too much trouble. Why do I even play? Ugh. 

After lunch we’re off on a play date with the girls bffs, and I’ve made friends with the mum so I’ll be sat there drinking tea. 

Anyways, it’s breakfast time here and the horde needs feeding (if I can tear them away from YouTube and tv and other stuff that is). 

Take care, wear sunscreen, drink loads (of tea). 

xoxo 


I don’t know where time went. On a vacation to Aruba? I would like to go to Aruba. Lie on a beach, drink straight from a coconut and just be. Actually anywhere would be nice, vacations are always nice. 

Okay, reality. 

I’ve started my new job, it’s been a month soon already. So far I’m liking it. A lot. Working in my community, my parish, with people I know is great. Networking and getting to know people is marvellous. Sure there are things that are slightly stressful, but in what line of work do you never encounter stress? 

And everyone’s very keen on me feeling up to the task and not taking on too much stuff. I know that if I were to say I felt overwhelmed they’d step in and help me with everything. 

Lovely people. 

We went on a trip to Uppsala this week (Monday to Wednesday and chock-a-block full of sightseeing). 

Although we did have a few hours free on Tuesday afternoon and I got to hang out with my mate Rikard, who I had only chatted with online (is it 2 years or more? I can’t remember) but since I was in the vicinity we decided to meet. 

I had a grand old time, he was just as darling as I hoped he would be. Not that I had any fears he’d be anything but. It was nice to hang out with someone who likes the same things, comics and books and stuff. 

My colleagues aren’t as nerdy as I am, so I haven’t really found anyone to talk to about ALL GREAT THINGS IN LIFE. Which is slightly sad (I miss Amanda and Fredrik from my old job, they got me). 

Anyhow, supper’s ready and I think we still have cheese puffs somewhere. 

xoxo 

One of my Finnish cousins got married last weekend, so we made a little trip out if it. 


It never ceases to amaze me how similar but different Finland is from Sweden. 

It’s the little things, the design of farm houses, the coffee, the way people dress, doughnuts and other foods… makes me feel at home every time. 

Anyways, loads to do after coming home from a trip (All The Laundry). 

xoxo 

I don’t know when I wore anything but jeans (must have been the midsummer weekend). 
The weather’s been so unreliable, sunny one moment and bucketing the next. I’ll be heading out with laundry only to have to turn back inside, because rain… 

Ugh. It’s not helping my mood either (tho that could be pms or something), and even though I know you can takes walks in the rain I don’t feel like walking in the deluge that has been the rain the last week or so. 

One a more positive note: I’ve found a guy who posts videos of himself playing the Mass Effect games for the first time. He’s gone through ME1 and is now on ME2. 

This makes me remember how much I love the game and I’m considering leaving DAI for a while to finish my most resent play through of ME2. I abandoned that to start DAI. 

Anyhow, it’s nearing lunchtime and I’m feeling the hangry coming on. Better feed myself then, before I say or do something I regret. 

xoxo 

IMG_1093Midsummer in Sweden is usually a cold and rainy affair (June is our monsoon month after all, though people tend to forget that) but last Friday was unseasonably warm and sunny.

Not that I’m complaining mind, it’s just so very unusual and I for one was taken by surprise. Off came the jeans I had donned in the morning and on came the summer dress I haven’t worn in years (only because I haven’t bothered with mending the torn straps until earlier this year).

We had a lovely Midsummer, wen’t to the celebrations over in Vättlösa and met old friends and simply had a good time.

In the evening my parents came by, bringing Aquavit and strawberries. I ate my weight in new potatoes and pickled herring I think (NO REGRETS!).

IMG_1160Yesterday we went to Liseberg, along with friends and their kids. We had the best time and ended up staying over 10 hours at the amusement park! We had burgers and fries for lunch, ate so much sweets and ice cream and slush.
The twins went on so many rides, and so did Pumpkin, though she felt it was a little unfair that she wasn’t allowed on the really extreme ones…
“When I’m their age I’ll go on all those rides!”
“Yes my darling, you will.”

I got 6 books from the library last week and have read 5 of them already, the last one will be read tomorrow I think. It’s a Sarah Dessen favourite: What Happened to Goodbye.
I do wish they’d get all the Sarah Dessen books, along with all three Stephanie Perkins books I love and several other great great great YA writers I love.
I’ll have to talk with my librarian friend and see if I can convince her to get them all.

Another thing I’m trying to do this summer (at least during these six weeks of holiday I have) is to take better care of myself, find a way back to me and like what I see when I look in the mirror. As it is now I’m not very happy with myself.
The biggest issue I have is my skin: my moles and scars. I cannot NOT see it whenever I look in the mirror.
Right now I feel as if nothing I do makes me forget the fact that my skin makes me a freak and when I previously shook off comments I now just want to cry whenever someone says something about me. It’s really mostly young kids who wonder why I have so many “spots” and I tend to tell them that’s just the way it is, I can’t help it anymore than they can help the colour of their eyes.

IMG_1183Maybe I need to go see someone about this, find ways to beat the negative thoughts crowding my mind and making me feel less about myself.
As it is now I’ve even gone so far as to edit/remove moles in selfies before I post them anywhere. I don’t think anyone else has noticed, but I’ve felt better about the pictures, now without the freakish spots all over…

Anyhow, I’m going to finish reading this novel by Morgan Matson, Second Chance Summer and cry my eyes out doing so (I’ve read it before and I know how it ends and I know I’ll cry and I’ll read it anyway, because I can!).

xoxo

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