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img_20150327_101935This year has been hard on teenage Yheela.
So many of my musical heroes have died, along with some movie heroes too.

Is this what getting old feels like? 

I woke up this morning to the news that George Michael died yesterday.
It was only a few days ago I played his music deafeningly loud in my car.
I’ve cried this morning and I think I might cry again when hearing my favourite songs by him.
It’s almost like with Prince, I still can’t listen to all of his songs without breaking down a little.

Someone told me a couple of weeks ago that the music you listen to between ages 10 and 20 is the music you’ll listen to for the rest of your life. And I’d say it’s true. I have found a few new artists, but they do remind me of my old favourites.

On the other hand, 2016 has been very good to me too. I got a new job (although I did love my old one very much too) in my home parish and looking back I can say this autumn has been a good one.
I’ve made new friends and I’ve learnt new things. As it should be I guess. Now I have a week and a couple of days off before it all starts again.
New year, new opportunities.

Our Christmas was a quiet affair, as per usual. The horde were all happy about their gifts, the twins especially since they got phones. I’ve not seen much of them, they now spend much of their time in their rooms playing games and sending me funny texts.
We did take a walk yesterday though, my son wanted to catch a few Pokémons…

Today I’m taking them all to see ‘Sing’, I managed to book us seats at the local cinema. And if I’m quick I’ll be able to book us seats for one of the other kid’s films they’re showing during the Christmas holiday.

I’d like to go down to Gothenburg some day next week, to check out the sales and just get a change of scenery. Hubs is working though, so I don’t know if it’ll happen. I need to find a party dress for a wedding in January.
It says “dark suit”  on the invite and that means a posh dress (not too short and not floor length) and I do not have one of those. A posh dress that is, mine are all summer dresses and not posh at all.

chichiI checked a few online stores and think I found a brand I like, but looking in a store would be fun too (right now I’m liking these two, but I don’t know if they’re right).

And I’ll get to buy new shoes and jewelry and makeup and hair things and ALL THE GLITTERY STUFFS!

Also, I need to get this hair of mine sorted. Should I keep colouring it? Do I let it grow? Cut it shorter? Argh!

Maybe I ought to be happy my problems are my hair and that artists I like pass away… it’s hard to know your blessings when life meanders on as it should.

Anyway, I need to do stuffs. There’s Lego all over the kitchen from building the sets the horde got for Christmas and there’s laundry that needs folding etc etc…

I wish you all the best, these last days of 2016. ❤

xoxo

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I have the stupid sads and nothing is helping. It’s like I’ve crawled head first into a hole and now I’m stuck, no amount of bum wiggling will get me out to see the light of day. 

Ugh…

All I want is to stay in bed. 

But I wake up tired and get out of bed and get dressed and put makeup on and eat breakfast (okay okay, I have a cuppa tea) and take littlests hordling to school and go to work and go through the motions and then I can’t sleep at night and I wake up tired the next day. 

Hubs thought I ought to take vitamins, which won’t hurt so I do. But I’m thinking I might need to go talk to someone, exercise more, find the happy again. 

I don’t know. 

Anyhow, one of my stories is coming along nicely and I really wish I could focus on that and nothing else. I’ll dream on… 

xoxo 

PrincePurpleRainI know many think this is odd and over the top, but the death of Prince has been the single worst thing that’s happened to me in almost forever.
A tweet said (I’m paraphrasing here): “I don’t want to live in a world where Prince can die.” and this is how it feels.
He played such a big part of my growing up/teens, his music, his style and lyrics have carried me through so much shit and he held my hand through the good times.
As it is right now I can’t hear his music without crying, but at the same time I want to listen to him and never ever forget how his music makes me feel alive.

I was 13 or 14 when I happened upon Purple Rain on the telly, it was pure magic. Purple magic. I couldn’t stop obsessing about the songs or Prince but I had no one to share my obsession with. None of my friends got it, they were too busy with their own obsessions and musicians, which was all fine and dandy.
More Prince for me!
When my class went on a school trip to Denmark I hurried to record stores to see what Prince albums they had there and how many I could afford to buy. Most classmates were more concerned in buying booze, or Danish pastries.
I only bought the one CD: The Love Symbol album O(+> and I played in on my disc Walkman until I knew all the lyrics by heart.

My favourite Prince songs, in no particular order, are (I can’t pick one, who could?):

  • Sometimes it snows in April
  • Raspberry Beret
  • 7
  • Purple Rain
  • Get Freaky
  • When doves cry
  • Diamonds and pearls 
  • Morning papers 
  • Starfish and coffee
  • Gold 

2016 has been a shit year when it comes to people I look up to dying, it needs to stop with the killing off my favourites. Like really.

There’s groovy music in heaven now, for sure.

Anyhow, it’s stupid cold for April and I’m not impressed with any of it. What’s the  point of a jean jacket if I keep freezing my bum off every time I wear it? Hmpf…

xoxo 

where-your-friends-liveI’m a happy-go-lucky type of person most of the time. Life is meant to be lived, people are meant to be talked to and food is meant to be tasted. I’d like to think I make friends easily, that I’m likable and fun and that others want to get to know me. So building friendships is something that comes easy to me.

Once I get over those first few minutes of slight awkwardness of meeting someone for the first time I tend to go all in and befriend them. I know I have scared a few people by being who I am, but most of the time we hit it off and are laughing within a few minutes. I love people, I want to hear their stories and be a part of their lives. 

If someone would ask me if I’m extrovert or introvert I’d claim extrovert, but recently I’ve begun to see myself more introvert. First and foremost it’s because some of the people I hung out with dumped me (yeah, really, I’ve been friendship dumped). In both cases it’s because they found a new love and didn’t need me to build them up and keep them smiling.

I’m really happy they’ve found happiness again, but I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t hurt that they never text me back or interact with me on social media anymore. From being “the best person ever” (actual quote from one of them) I’ve become a nothing. Thanks, cheers, lovely…

At the moment I don’t have the energy to make new friends, because even as an “extrovert” it takes energy to interact with people. I tried to find people (and keep up with the ones I know) online to fill the void of those irl, but it’s hard to keep up a friendship when you are sad a lot. I have met some truly amazing people on the webz and I cherish them, but what I really long for right now is to sit down with someone and drink buckets of tea.

An afternoon or evening watching films and just talking. Taking walks and laughing. Hugs and someone being there, for me. I want someone to ask me how I am, tell me it’s okay to be sad, give me a hug and laugh with me. Online friends are awesome (I truly love mine), but it’s hard to hug someone over Twitter or G+… I wish my bff, The Flutist, lived closer, because she is all those good things.

And I wished my new-ish friend from the library would become a closer friend, I should ask her over, because I feel she could be all those things. But it feels like it’s always me that does the reaching out, the calling and texting and making friends (it feels like that right now).

unicronAm I too much? Too much of a weirdo for the “normals” where I live? Where are all the weird people, the geeks and fan girls (or boys)?

Anyway, I should probably leave it all and accept that all my friends live in Narnia and can only be found by walking through the wardrobe that is the webz. Because they are weird and I love each and every one in here.

xoxo

DSC_0147As some of you might know I’ve been playing Dragon Age Inquisition since December and the Jaws of Hakkon (DLC) since my birthday in April. I love the game, so much. I’ve loved Dragon Age since it came out and I’ve loved every new game they’ve released (yes, even Dragon Age 2).

When I got Jaws of Hakkon I was sooo happy, there was MOAR to play and it was made for characters higher than level 20 (when the game ends your character tends to be level 20-21, or mine were). I played the DLC with my mage, a heartbroken elf (if you play the Solas romance option you’ll kinda guess what happened here) and found it exciting to find some resistance from the creatures and things that you meet in the Frostback Basin. There were many occasion where I ran away so as to not get killed (RUN AWAY is a great option to not having to reload this game, especially since I suck at saving) and at the end of the DLC most enemies were my level and a match, but not impossible. I did fear the final boss though… I mean: FINAL BOSS. *doomsday music.*

I felt that that encounter was kinda hyped by everyone you met in the game, or maybe it was all me and how I get sucked in into these things (games, books, film – I’ve even snapped at hubs after reading a very emotional passage in a book, he had done nothing, I just had ALL THE FEELS!).

Aaaanyway, there I was, all ready for the last battle (frost resistant armour all around and fire damage etc on the weaponry) and when I finally get the nerve to fight I find that it’s TWO (2!) levels beneath me and not such a big ass fight after all…

I killed it dead on the first try and that was that. So excite. Not.

I love the story line in Jaws of Hakkon: I love the area, the characters and creatures… what I don’t like is that there are Gurgut (giant lizards) with higher level than the final boss. Or maybe not Gurgut, but there are Rift demons that are. And that kinda sucks… As it is now I don’t know if I’ll be able to replay it anytime soon. Meh.

Anyhow, this is one of the craziest weeks at work (confirmation this weekend) and I feel out of energy. Guess I’ll just have to suck it up and get through it. And hope I get the energy to write, at least a little.

xoxo

IMG_20140722_103520I’m simultaneously writing three different short stories (or I have three tabs in Google Drive open at the same time and keep going back and forth reading parts of them, occasionally adding words). This works just fine, because for some reason they all complement each other: I’ll be writing something on one of them and suddenly an idea for one of the others pops up and I go write a little on that.

But.

This also means I’m researching for three different stories.

In #1 I need to look at pictures of Sweden in the summer, listen to 90’s music and remember what it was like working in the kitchens (You guuuyyyys! Summer! I want summer now!), #2 requires researching London (THERE’S SO MUCH TO FIND AND GET LOST IN) and for #3 I need to find the perfect film for my main character to suggest to the boy she likes (NETFLIX NETFLIX NETFLIX). Also I keep searching for pictures of people and things, to find attributes etc that I can use for my characters (ballet shoes, blonde hair, hats and coats, airplanes, meadows, cute guys, blue skies, teacups – random shizzle ya know).

Blackbird_2Last night I heard blackbirds for the first time this year. I absolutely LOVE blackbirds! As soon as they start singing you just KNOW it’s spring and the best part of it is that they keep on singing long into summer. Is there anything better than talking a walk in the woods, listening to blackbirds and smelling the greenery all around you? No, there isn’t.

Anyway, we’re at home today, no school and Pumpkin has a nasty cold (ear pain, pink eye, fever) so we never went swimming as we said we would. That’s one of the stinky things about early spring: all the colds and things and stuff that happens. I’m feeling slightly meh myself, stuffy nose and a sore throat.

I Really Don’t Want To Be Sick Right Now! 

We’re having ice cream as the afternoon snack (because sicknesses), although I’m having Strawberry Daiquiri sherbet (because vegan). Better get back to writing my stories then…

xoxo

DSC_0088Riiight.

So first of all, Lent (the 40 days leading up to Easter ya know). I’m going vegan this year, which means 40 days of vegan foods. The tricky part isn’t the eating of the foods (because vegan is delish), but to find foods that I CAN eat!

Man oh man are there many foods out there that have eggs or milk or other animal stuff in them, even though you’d think they’d be just veggies… so it’s hard. I suppose I could have done a wee bit more research before jumping onto the vegan train, but I figured I’d make it alright.

If I had more time to actually cook foods I suspect things would be easier… as it is now there aren’t enough hours to the day for me to make meals for me to eat during the week.

But, I’m doing alright, though I might be eating a little less than I should (because all the non-eatable snacks I keep finding). The whole point of this “going vegan for lent thing” is for me to think of all of the people around the world who can’t decide what to eat, who can’t even fill their bellies on a regular basis, and donate money to charity (Svenska kyrkans fastekampanj 2015).

Also I’ve been playing MOAR Dragon Age Inquisition. Played it a second time with a mage and now I’m going rogue, which I wasn’t very keen on doing at first because the first rogue I created sucked monkey balls and I had just done the whole character WRONG… but after doing some thinking and starting over things are looking better and I’m having fun.

Anyhow, I’m gonna go watch a film, or read, or write, or all of them at the same time… while drinking tea.

xoxo

FRIDAY

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We arrived late Friday afternoon, chilled out at the hotel for a while before heading out to meet our friend for dinner.

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I’ve never been to a TGIFridays before, it was alright. Good food, but crowded.

When we got back to the hotel we watched TV until bedtime. There’s something really cozy about lying in bed, eating sweets and watching cartoons.

SATURDAY

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We walked over to the Old Town, did some shopping and stopped for quite some time at The Science Fiction Bookstore (love that place!).

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After a meh meal at McD we took the ferry over to the Vasa Museum to look at the old ship (it’s from the 1600’s).

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(This is only a model.)

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It might have been Valentine’s Day, but we felt no need to make a big deal out of it.
More chillaxing on bed before eating dinner at the hotel and later more cartoons and sweets in bed.

SUNDAY

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Stockholm woke up to sunshine.
A wee bit windy, but who cares about that when spring is in the air…
We’re having lunch with friends before catching the train home.

I wish we could stay a few more days…

Anyhow, I suppose I need to start packing our bags.

xoxo

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The horde is at home today. Pirate had an upset stomach yesterday, Princess has the sniffles and Pumpkin gets to stay home just because.

We’re watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone and had a small slice of chocolate cake for dessert after lunch. None of them seem very ill, but it’s always better to be sure than sending them off to school. I think the twins will be able to go back to school tomorrow since neither of them are very ill today.
We’ll see…

My mum and dad are coming over this weekend because Pumpkin turns 3 on Sunday. She’s actually 3 years old! I can’t believe how fast time flies… my wee baby (I’m getting old, not that I mind, it’s just a fact).
We’re having Hogwarts Express cake and Spider-Man plates and cups. She told me these are her themes for the party (proud mama moment here, excuse me while I wipe away happy tears).

Anyhow, the film ended and I have le stüff to do…

xoxo

Rainstorm.

Today is so dark. Like November decided to come at us with a vengeance. And this rain. I had hoped for a lot more of that delicious sunlight. I need sunlight! Don’t think it helps that I most definitely feel like I have the worst case of The Monday’s, ever.

Today I can’t get anything written on my NaNo piece, it’s stuck and I don’t know how to get back at it. So I’ll write something on another text and hope that this will make my brain jump start.

Anyhow, better make more tea and get writing.

xoxo