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I remember a dream I had as a teen (I was maybe 14 or 15).

I’m at the small lake in the neighbouring village, the lake we rode our bikes to during summer, the place to be if you wanted to look at cute boys. In my dream I’m alone, even though it’s the middle of the day. The sun is warming my skin and I feel a breeze playing with my hair.
Come to think of it I don’t think I’m alone at all, there are faceless people swimming and talking and laughing in my peripheral vision. Anyway, I’m sitting on the jetty, almost at the end where it’s deep enough to dive into the murky water.
A boy walks towards me, a boy I really like, although his face is washed out by the bright sunshine, so I can’t be sure it’s the boy I’m crushing on at the time. He might be some generic dream version of boys I fancy (tall, dark, big grinned, funny boys), it doesn’t really matter, does it?
In my dream he sits down next to me, I smile at him and he smiles back. Then he leans in and kisses me. It’s The Perfect Kiss (well, duh what other types of kisses are there in perfect summer type dreams).
Then I woke up and spent weeks at trying to figure out who the boy was and if this was proof of my clairvoyance and if someone actually liked me, like that…

Sadly I never experienced a perfect kiss by a perfect boy on a perfect summer’s day out on the jetty (there are other kisses at other times, but nothing like the kiss in my dream).
I wish I could have this dream again, because it was a really good one. Wouldn’t that be nice? I can’t think of another dream I’d like to relive, this one has just stuck with me through the years.

I do have an excellent memory from the same village, but I was 17 and there’s no kissing involved. There are a couple of boys in this memory and I had a crush on one of them, but this time I had left them behind at the house we were staying at (we were supposed to be camping but summer nights in Sweden can be quite cold, so we walked 4 km to spend the night on the floors of this house).
A friend of mine, we weren’t great friends, but that night we were The Best Of Friends. Do you know what I mean? We talked and talked and talked and as the sun rose we sat on a fence looking out over the morning mist dancing over the moor and everything was simply perfect.
After a while some of the boys found us and one of them put his arm around my friend. The boy I was crushing on walked beside me back to the house, we didn’t speak. And I wonder what he would have done if I had kissed him there in the rising sun…

I don’t think I’ve felt more beautiful or alive as that morning, I felt life rushing through me, filling me to the brim and making me love every second of it. It’s a good memory.

Anyhow, I’m writing a lot right now. And that makes me happy.

xoxo

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