where-your-friends-liveI’m a happy-go-lucky type of person most of the time. Life is meant to be lived, people are meant to be talked to and food is meant to be tasted. I’d like to think I make friends easily, that I’m likable and fun and that others want to get to know me. So building friendships is something that comes easy to me.

Once I get over those first few minutes of slight awkwardness of meeting someone for the first time I tend to go all in and befriend them. I know I have scared a few people by being who I am, but most of the time we hit it off and are laughing within a few minutes. I love people, I want to hear their stories and be a part of their lives. 

If someone would ask me if I’m extrovert or introvert I’d claim extrovert, but recently I’ve begun to see myself more introvert. First and foremost it’s because some of the people I hung out with dumped me (yeah, really, I’ve been friendship dumped). In both cases it’s because they found a new love and didn’t need me to build them up and keep them smiling.

I’m really happy they’ve found happiness again, but I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t hurt that they never text me back or interact with me on social media anymore. From being “the best person ever” (actual quote from one of them) I’ve become a nothing. Thanks, cheers, lovely…

At the moment I don’t have the energy to make new friends, because even as an “extrovert” it takes energy to interact with people. I tried to find people (and keep up with the ones I know) online to fill the void of those irl, but it’s hard to keep up a friendship when you are sad a lot. I have met some truly amazing people on the webz and I cherish them, but what I really long for right now is to sit down with someone and drink buckets of tea.

An afternoon or evening watching films and just talking. Taking walks and laughing. Hugs and someone being there, for me. I want someone to ask me how I am, tell me it’s okay to be sad, give me a hug and laugh with me. Online friends are awesome (I truly love mine), but it’s hard to hug someone over Twitter or G+… I wish my bff, The Flutist, lived closer, because she is all those good things.

And I wished my new-ish friend from the library would become a closer friend, I should ask her over, because I feel she could be all those things. But it feels like it’s always me that does the reaching out, the calling and texting and making friends (it feels like that right now).

unicronAm I too much? Too much of a weirdo for the “normals” where I live? Where are all the weird people, the geeks and fan girls (or boys)?

Anyway, I should probably leave it all and accept that all my friends live in Narnia and can only be found by walking through the wardrobe that is the webz. Because they are weird and I love each and every one in here.

xoxo

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